


The Suicide Mission

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Star Trek Incandescent Hearts [19]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bickering, Bonus Chapter, Compromise, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Episode: s01e05 Bread and Circuses, Episode: s02e19 The Immunity Syndrome, Episode: s03e23 All Our Yesterdays, Explosion, First Kiss, Fluff, Injured McCoy, Injured Spock, M/M, Protective Spock, Snarky McCoy, Star Trek Beyond, Star Trek I: The Motion Picture, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Star Trek: Into Darkness, Suffering McCoy, Trapped, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-27 21:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10817316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: McCoy and Spock took a long time to warm to each other.  A TOS episodes related, TOS movies related, and AOS movies related fic.





	1. I'll Serve With Him, But I Don't Have To Like Him

**Author's Note:**

> Famous scenes from Star Trek TOS, Star Trek TOS movies, and Star Trek AOS movies in a different context. See if you can spot the references.

“On behalf of the people of New Vulcan, I wish to thank you and the crew of the Enterprise for helping with our relocation, Captain Kirk. Your endeavor to aid in a humanitarian effort was commendable.” Sarek allowed a small smile. “And I doubt if it was simply because you know my son.”

“Now, that did figure into it, Ambassador Sarek,” Kirk said with his best lazy smile. “Mr. Spock is a valued member of our crew. But we would try to aid any people in their time of need.” 

“Well, I will not detain you any longer. I know that you probably have another mission awaiting you.”

“Always. But only if we can no longer be of any service to you.”

Leonard McCoy turned off the diplomatic double-talk that McCoy thought of as mutual ego stroking. Let Kirk handle the diplomacy angle, McCoy thought. Kirk had trained for it and had a natural inclination for the blithe language that covered up a mass of sins including threats. Jim could have it. McCoy equated it to what is periodically shoveled out of the bullpen so animals can walk on ground instead of, well, what wasn’t ground.

McCoy simply itched to get back to sickbay to his domain of medicine and science. He was standing beside Montgomery Scott on one side of him and Nyota Uhura on the other. All three stood ram-rod tall as the official leave-taking progressed. He figured that they both wanted to get back to work, also. He wondered what mind-numbing devices they were using to survive the necessary speeches.

Scotty might be mentally crawling through the miles of pipes in the Enterprise and quizzing himself about his location at any given spot, or the Chief Engineer might be taking an engine apart on the Enterprise. By the look on Nyota’s face as she stared at Spock, she was probably taking him apart, bone by bone. Not that McCoy blamed her. That couple seemed to be on the outs again. McCoy wondered what had kept them together, outside of the obvious sex angle. People just seemed to be drawn to all of that inscrutable, exotic enigma that went along with somebody like Spock. McCoy didn‘t want any part of that. He wasn‘t interested in getting any part of himself frostbitten, especially the part Spock apparently favored in his relationships. 

McCoy glanced at Spock. As second in command, he stood one pace behind Kirk and to his side. Tough nut, McCoy thought. You wouldn’t think that the man had just lost his mother and home planet. Now Spock was taking leave of his father, not knowing when he would see the man again, or even if. Spock stood looking at the leader of the few Vulcans left in the universe and the only parent he had left as if Sarek was just another signboard along the highway of his life. And not a very interesting signboard, at that. Ice water must run in that bastard’s bloodstream, McCoy thought. Pity the poor person who loves him. Sarek acts like he could handle that relationship, though. Probably because he has green ice water in his blood system, too. McCoy shivered, in spite of the warm weather. He didn’t want any part of either one of them. McCoy had survived some pretty scathing relationships in his time, but he’d never tangled with someone who had a hunk of iceberg where his heart belonged. Nyota was probably lucky to get out of that relationship and apparently just hadn’t realized it, yet.

Suddenly, the ceremony was over. Everyone clicked their heels together or seemed to. For some reason, McCoy thought of pre-World War I military leaders in Eastern Europe: Austrians, Hungarians, Germans. Those guys always looked like they had cobs up their rear ends, too. And walked as if the corncobs were firmly implanted. Odd that these Vulcans now looked more normal to McCoy than pictures of Twentieth Century Earthlings, which were, of course, part of McCoy‘s gene pool. He should be able to identify with those ancient Earthlings, but didn‘t. 

Then everyone relaxed and came back to some sort of resemblance to beings that McCoy recognized. 

“Well, that’s that,“ Scotty mumbled to no one in particular.

McCoy hummed in agreement as he looked around for what was to be done next.

“Are you guys going back to the ship?“ Uhura spat out, almost as if it was a challenge.

“I am, Lt. Uhura,” Scotty spoke up when he sensed that Uhura needed some company. “I believe that I have some things that need checking.“

“Well, I’d like to get out of here,“ she mumbled as she shot Spock another look. 

Spock seemed to be paying attention to his father and Kirk, but he was clearly watching Uhura’s group out of the corner of his eye. 

Uhura grabbed Scotty’s arm. “Let’s get out of here,” she directed and dragged him away.

The surprised Scotty shot a look back at McCoy before quickly disappearing into the crowd.

McCoy saw that Spock had noted Uhura’s sudden departure and observed a tightening of Spock‘s lips. So, the Vulcan could feel emotions.

Out of curiosity, McCoy watched Ambassador Sarek and his son Spock. Maybe McCoy was a voyeur, but he wanted to see what a parting between them would be like. It was disappointing. Sarek and Spock raised their hands and solemnly gave each other the Vulcan salute of the fingers forming a V. Then father and son abruptly turned away from each other as if someone had given a sign that McCoy had not been aware of. No handshake, no embrace, no pat on the back, not even a lingering look. That sure took the trauma out of goodbyes, McCoy decided. But he would have thought something more intimate would have been appropriate. This, this other, whatever in the hell it had been, didn’t seem healthy. Or natural. Or even decent. 

That person is blood of your blood, you assholes, he wanted to yell at father and son, but he didn’t. Somehow he realized it wouldn’t be appropriate, let alone appreciated. More than likely, he would be treated to a double frost job from both of them. The main reason why McCoy didn’t make any effort to straighten out those idiots with no emotions was that neither one of them meant that much to McCoy. Hell, Sarek was a walking iceberg. And his son was little better. McCoy did know Spock a little more, since they were crew mates and all.

But it wasn’t any of McCoy’s business how that particular Vulcan wanted to act towards his father. Spock only came into McCoy’s life in two ways, well, really three, he had to admit. First, they were officers together on the crew of the Enterprise. Second, as Science Officer, Spock was in the laboratories in the science and medical facilities, so they worked around each other sometimes. But they tended to work on their own projects and didn’t bother each other very much.

The only place where they came anywhere close together, well, even to clash, was in their relationship with Jim Kirk, their captain. Spock and McCoy each thought of Kirk as best friend. And Kirk never said which one he considered to be his best friend. So there was a rivalry for Kirk’s attention which neither of them officially acknowledged, but the rivalry was there anyway.

 

But after the Enterprise left the New Vulcan colony and got into a routine of exploration and new missions, something strange happened. And it was with McCoy and his attitude toward Spock. Oh, it didn’t come overnight and it didn’t come easily, but it came. And before anyone knew it, especially them, they were efficient colleagues and reluctant acquaintances.

 

“If you gentlemen will excuse me, I must see to that experiment,” Spock mumbled as he pushed back his chair where he sat with Kirk and McCoy in the mess hall. Spock's mind was already more on his work than on the men whose company he was leaving. “I fear that I have neglected it too long as it is.”

“Of course, Mr. Spock,” Kirk said amiably. “Don’t forget our chess game this evening.”

Spock turned his eyes back on Kirk. “I have not forgotten in all of this time, Captain. I will not forget this evening.”

“Of course. Just making conversation,” Kirk said with a soft smile.

“Of course, Captain,” Spock accepted with tolerance, nodded curtly at them, then left.

“Well, there he goes,” McCoy muttered, “An efficient computer with long legs and a salad bowl haircut.”

“Bones,” Kirk admonished as he dug into his chicken and dressing again. “Play nice.”

“You can’t tell me that you actually like that character?!”

“Apparently, better than you do.”

“Do you get the same warm, fuzzy feeling from your pet rock?”

“What’s your problem today? Spock is no different than he has ever been.”

“That’s part of it. We should all be buddies by this time.”

“We are. At least, Spock and I are.”

“What did you do?! Grow up in a field of boulders like he did?! Can you and Spock go to the same family reunion in a rock quarry?!”

“You’re in rare form today.”

“Me?! How did I get to be the bad guy here?!”

“You’re the one making noise,” Kirk said softly.

“So I am the bad guy here! And the Vulcan is being an angel!”

“Bones. There is no pissing contest between you two. Stop trying to make it one.”

“Well, at least it’d be something, instead of this, this, this vacuum thing that it is!”

“Bones. Are you having a problem with Spock? You two should be compatible by now.”

“We get along. But we’re nowhere close yet to picking out the furniture together.”

“I’m not asking you to marry the guy. Just get along with him.”

“I doubt if even you two could agree on furniture. After all, all he needs is an assortment of mats to meditate on and a series of boxes to perch on.” He made shoving motions with his hands. “And in case he ever wants to stretch out, maybe he could line three boxes up together in a row. How resourceful he is!”

Kirk frowned. “Are you two having personal problems?”

“Jim! He’d have to relate to me for us to have personal problems! I’d get the same reaction or achieve the same success if I stood at the bottom of Niagara Falls and tried to negotiate with it! That damn water would keep on flowing, no matter what I said! Reminds me of a certain green-blooded Vulcan that I know!”

“Perhaps I did too good of a job when I picked you two to represent the two sides of my reasoning,” Kirk muttered more to himself than to McCoy. “Bones. Do you realize that if Spock answered you in kind, he would accuse you of being a drama queen with permanent P.M.S.?”

“I suppose he would!” McCoy conceded. “And he’d be right!” he finished miserably. “It would only be logical!” he mocked Spock.

Kirk grinned. “At least you can laugh at yourself.”

“That’s more than the Vulcan can do,” McCoy grumbled with crossed arms. "I doubt if he can laugh. His mouth has probably never gone in that direction. If he tried, I expect he'd break something vital in his face."

“Have you ever tried to see things from his side?”

“You mean from the Dark Side? No, thanks. I’m sensitive to moon burn.”

“Just try to get along with him, huh? That’s something I can’t order you to do. But I’m asking, please, as a friend. Find a way to do more than just work with the guy. Okay?”

“Damn it, Jim Kirk! I could never say no to you, and you know it.”

Kirk smiled sweetly. “I know.”

But it was a long time before Leonard McCoy kept that promise. And it happened only because McCoy felt that he owed a tremendous debt to Spock.

 

“Spock, I, ah, want to talk to you a moment.“

“I am rather busy here, Doctor, as you can see," Spock mumbled as he stared intently at the machine part in his hand. "Can it wait until later?“

“Well, ah, I want to ease my conscience.“ And I've got my courage worked up, McCoy wanted to add, but didn't.

“So, it is something for your benefit.“

“Well, yeah!“ McCoy tried to remember what Kirk had said about patience. “Well, and for yours, also.“ 

Spock stared levelly at McCoy. Aha, McCoy thought. That gets them every time. What’s in it for me?

And now that he had Spock’s attention to hear him speak, McCoy couldn’t. “This is all rather hard to say.“

Spock gave him a tired, condescending look. “Obviously.“

“You could be a little more gracious!“

“I still do not know for what I should be gracious.“

“Oh. Yeah. There is that.“

Spock turned back to his work. “You will excuse me, Doctor. I will continue with my labors while you find back your tongue. Or leave. Your choice. My choice is to be gainfully employed. I find this machine‘s mechanism vastly more interesting than your thought processes.“

McCoy seemed to have lost his opportunity to speak, but he was determined. But now he had a second dilemma. He had to either speak or leave.

“I, ah, wanted to thank you for, ah, saving my life?”

Spock stopped and looked puzzled at him. “You do not seem certain.”

“Yes! Damn it! This is important! That Roman gladiator would have killed me for sure out in that arena, if you haven’t stepped in and helped me! You saved my life, and I’m grateful! I want you to know how much I appreciate what you did!” 

“Oh, that is correct. I had momentarily forgotten. How rude of me. You humans have a compulsion to thank each other for everything.”

“This wasn’t just anything, Spock! It was my life!” McCoy cooled. “And I appreciate it. I really do.”

“I know you do, Doctor,” Spock answered with surprising empathy. Then he went and spoiled it. “And you are very welcome,” he said carefully, emphasizing each word, apparently so McCoy would understand.

Of course, that angered McCoy. “I’m not a child! You don’t need to talk down to me!” And he went storming off.

Spock frowned, but didn’t immediately return to work. He had hurt the human and did not quite understand how or why. But for the first time, he understood that he had. He even felt guilty for what he had done.

He also did not understand that had been quite a breakthrough for him. If Jim Kirk had been a witness to the scene, he most assuredly would have admonished Spock, just as he had pointed out McCoy’s transgressions to him. Kirk played no favorites. And it really would have been easier on everybody if he would have been there to have corrected Spock.


	2. The Best Person Should Go, And That’s Me!

“The Federation wants this civilization contacted, gentlemen,” Jim Kirk said gravely. “The Euthumbrians are almost a mythical race. Whispers have circulated around this galaxy about them almost as long as man has traveled widely in space exploration. But we really don‘t know that much about them.”

“You certainly have me intrigued, Jim. Why are they so mysterious?”

“Because almost everyone who has accepted an invitation to their world has perished before returning. The few firsthand accounts have been left by raving individuals who died shortly afterwards.”

“Fascinating. Why do we wish to contact them then, Captain?”

“Because their knowledge seems to be highly advanced. The Federation thinks that mankind would learn so much from contact with them.”

“So the Federation wants to send a landing party from the Enterprise to meet with these Euthumbrians?”

“That’s the catch, Bones,” Kirk said with a frown. “They will allow only one person to visit them. My best choices are you two. But I don’t know which yet. I‘ll have to do a lot of thinking about this decision.”

McCoy and Spock sized each other up. They both wanted to be the chosen person. Now, they just had to convince Kirk.

 

“Jim, I’m the logical one to go,” McCoy stated. “The opportunity to learn about medical advances these people have discovered and employ as routine would be beneficial to beings across the universe.”

“Well, and it would make your name in the annals of medicine, too, wouldn’t it, Bones, if you had the ‘opportunity‘ to reveal the advances of these people ‘across the universe?’” 

Kirk said it in a joking manner, but McCoy could hear the biting edge of sarcasm to the query. What the hell?! Kirk should know that every man of medicine dreams of leaving his mark in history. How many chances would McCoy get in his lifetime? Yes, he was out to save lives and do a good job. But he had to be on the outlook for himself, too. And this would be a golden opportunity for mankind, and for himself.

“Well, of course,” McCoy tried to say smoothly and seamlessly. He knew that losing his temper would only lessen his opportunities. “But, in the meantime, if I can pass along a new cure, wouldn’t that help to validate my record? After all, the Enterprise would go down in history as the contact ship. And who, after all, is the captain of that illustrious vessel?” He tried to make it sound as though he and Kirk were in on information privy to only them.

“Of course,” Kirk said, underscoring McCoy’s thesis. “And I am certain that you would list me as co-author.“

Don’t play it heavy, McCoy. He smiled pleasantly at Kirk. “Well, at least you would merit a mention in an extensive footnote.”

Kirk‘s eyes were twinkling. A conman like him knew when he was being conned. And McCoy was making it so blatant that Kirk didn‘t mind. There were scales on neither one of their eyes. They both understood personal gain, but they didn’t actually have to name the creature. They could be civilized about it, as long as they were both understanding each other. “Of course. I will take your argument under advisement, Dr. McCoy. Far be it for me to deter the advance of science and medicine.”

Well, they had gotten that bullshitting out of the way, McCoy thought as he headed back toward sickbay. He really was interested in the advancement of medical knowledge, but he wasn’t going to deny his selfish purposes, either.

He wondered what argument that Spock would advance toward Kirk.

 

“Captain, I am the logical choice to undertake the mission to Euthumbria,” Spock declared as he stood with his hands behind his back and stared into middle space.

“Oh?” Kirk asked with a touch of irony in his voice. “And why is that?”

“I am well acquainted with the medical as well as the scientific aspects of the project. I more qualified than Dr. McCoy to undertake this mission.”

“I suppose you realize that he pleaded a similar case for himself.”

“I am well aware that he probably attempted to put forth a justifiable argument.”

“It was more than justifiable. He made some very good points.”

A slight frown flickered across Spock’s face.

“As well as you do.”

Spock relaxed.

“Captain, might I also have it noted that I am better able to undergo whatever physical stresses might be encountered by contact with the Euthumbrians.”

“You think that you are in better physical shape than Dr. McCoy?”

“Yes, plus my stamina and mental prowess are superior to his. I would be able to withstand a test of the elements better than he.”

“Oh?”

“He is a rather puny example of your species, Captain.”

“Really? And does Dr. McCoy realize your opinion of his apparent weakened condition?”

“No.” Spock looked directly at Kirk. “And I hope that you would not share my opinion with him.”

“Anything told to me in confidence will remain in my confidence. I just was not aware of McCoy’s frail structure. Perhaps he shouldn‘t be serving on a starship in deep space.” He glanced sharply at Spock for his reaction.

“Oh, he is quite able to perform the routine duties he has on the Enterprise, Captain,” he said quickly. “He just may not be the logical choice to visit the Euthumbrians.”

Wily old fox, Kirk thought. He wants to be selected, but he doesn’t want to get rid of McCoy completely. So he does have a conscience, after all.

“I’ll think about it and let both of you know my decision.” 

“Of course, Captain.” 

Had Spock actually blinked? Had he thought he had an edge over McCoy with Kirk? But that couldn’t be the basis for Kirk’s decision. Kirk had to send not only the best qualified, but the one whom he thought had the better chance of surviving. 

It was rather a suicide mission. The other two men surely had to know that. There was a good chance that whomever left the Enterprise for that unknown world would not be returning. There was some reason why few people escaped it. And those who did were never the same, afterwards.

 

“I’m sorry, Spock.”

Spock looked frustrated and McCoy looked smug.

“Captain, I believe that you are sending the wrong man,” Spock protested.

“Give it up, Vulcan,” McCoy muttered. “Kirk chose me.”

“No, I didn’t, Bones. I chose Spock.”

“Spock?!”

It was Spock’s turn to look smug.

“But, Jim, I thought--”

“It was a tough decision, Bones. You both have legitimate reasons to study the civilization in Euthumbria, but Spock is stronger physically.”

“But you told Spock that you were sorry--”

“For sending him. He runs a good chance of not returning.” He glanced at Spock, then back at McCoy. “I don’t know if either one of you considered the mortality angle in this pissing contest between you two.”

Kirk’s frustration with them was evident. 

“Well, of course, Jim, but--”

“But, nothing! I think you both have your priorities wrong, but far be it for me to try to straighten you out.“ It was evident, also, that they didn’t understand his angst and frustration with them. “Oh, help Spock get ready, or go back to your sickbay, Doctor.”

“Yes, sir,” McCoy said crisply. 

“Spock, I, ah, wish you luck,“ Kirk said solemnly.

“Thank you, Captain. But I regard Earthling luck as something of a superstition, actually.“

“Be that as it may, Commander,“ Kirk said, and it was obvious that he was trying to hold his emotion in. “I want to say that I will be strongly hoping on seeing you back in the Enterprise at the end of your mission.“

“I will try to endeavor to keep that appointment, Captain.“

“My friend--” Kirk started, then was unable to say anything else.

“You will excuse me, Captain. I must be on my way.”

“Of course, of course,” Kirk mumbled. It was best for Spock not to linger for drawn-out goodbyes, but still. Kirk was hoping for something.

Then, bless him, McCoy stepped forward. He might’ve been too bitter about his own disappointment to notice that he had saved Spock and Kirk from an embarrassing emotional display.

“Come on, Vulcan,” McCoy mumbled. “Let‘s get you going. Try not to gloat, either. You‘re not on that shuttle yet.”

 

“You’ll research the medical findings?” McCoy asked as the two of them walked the empty corridors of the Enterprise.

“Yes, Doctor,” Spock answered, almost in exasperation.

“If the information is what I think it is, I will need to find a way for Jim to let me go to the planet.”

“I do not need you underfoot, Doctor.”

“Well, I wasn’t planning to be. I can be just as efficient and as professional as you can be! If you‘d just take the time to give me a chance to show you that I can be just as effective as you--”

“But we won’t learn that this time, will we, Doctor?”

“Get that smug look off your face, or you won’t be in any shape to go exploring. You’ll be in sickbay with something broken.” He pursed his lips together. “Starting with that smug mouth of yours.”

“And you will be in the brig, Doctor. You cannot do much medical research from a jail cell now, can you?”

“You won’t let me share in this, will you?” McCoy snarled as they walked to the hatch door. The shuttle stood waiting just on the other side of that door. “You want all of the glory for yourself.”

“Doctor, this is not a competition. Whether you understand my motives or not, we really are on the same team. I will share with you, with the time is right and the danger is past.”

McCoy huffed. “It won’t be the same, and you know it! I’ll be back here, and you’ll, you’ll, be out getting the glory.”

“Doctor, I would like to do this journey of exploration in memory of my people, a proud and noble breed cut too soon from the fabric of the universe. I want to honor them. Can you not grant me the opportunity of doing that for them?”

“By what?! By dying?! What kind of memorial is that?!”

“Maybe the only one I can provide for them.”

McCoy looked startled.

“I know you cannot understand my motives, but can you not grant me my own form of dignity?”

“Vulcan dignity? How do I grant you what I don’t understand? I do not see the glory in dying, only in living. I am sworn to preserve life, not to prepare for a more shining afterlife as your people apparently valued and strove to obtain.”

“But is that not the basis for your Christianity?”

McCoy’s mouth dropped open. “How can you cheapen my belief system?!”

“I was not doing that.” He kept himself from showing the grimace he was feeling. “I know we do not understand each other, Doctor, but I thought, perhaps, that you had an empathy for why I am doing this. You have asked me to understand you about so many things. Why can you not try to understand my motives now?”

“Maybe I understand, and maybe I don’t. I just think you shouldn’t be throwing your life away. Why be a martyr for a dead cause?”

“They were my people, Doctor. Would you not do anything for your people?” He stared deeper into McCoy‘s eyes. “Anything for your friends? Your family?”

McCoy stopped his mouth from dropping open, but he knew that his eyes had bugged out.

“You’re not talking about just the Vulcan people, anymore, are you?”

“No, I am not.”

“The Enterprise? Is? Your, ah--”

“Family, Doctor. I thought you understood that. Now, who does not have empathy?” Spock breathed deeply. “Now, stand aside, please, Doctor.” 

McCoy complied and Spock stepped into the hallway. 

“Wish me Godspeed?”

“I thought you didn’t believe in God,” McCoy managed to say.

“I will take good wishes wherever I can get them, Doctor, even from your Christian God.” His eyes bored into McCoy. “Even from you.”

That time McCoy’s mouth did drop open. Additionally, he felt tears spring into his eyes. Oh, hell, why was he learning something great and noble about Spock at the most ridiculous time that McCoy could imagine?

Something like a grimace passed over Spock’s face. He thought McCoy was denying him when McCoy was actually too stunned to answer by what Spock had said. Still, McCoy did not speak, and the opportunity was lost.

Had McCoy disappointed him? Why was McCoy suddenly that important to him? Could his sudden importance simply be the fact that McCoy was the last human he might see, or could something more be involved? Did McCoy mean something to Spock, after all? Something personal?

While McCoy stood, stunned, as these thoughts raced through his head, Spock turned aside in quiet resignation and headed for the shuttle. McCoy watched as the door opened and Spock entered the shuttle.

McCoy had a thousand questions. He wanted to stop Spock and explore the layers of the feelings that had coursed between them. But this wasn’t the time for these questions. And now there may never be a chance for questions. 

And something else played in the back of McCoy’s thoughts. If he had asked Spock for a deeper explanation and had given Spock a reason not to sacrifice his life so readily, Spock might not have found the courage to fulfill his mission. He might have wanted to have stayed, safe.

No, it was not fated for Spock to explain now. Instead, he left a great mystery behind him.

But McCoy wanted answers. He felt as if he had made a huge mistake. He felt as if he had lost a golden opportunity. He felt as if he was losing a friend, a friend who had gone in his place, a friend who thought he didn't have that much to lose.

As he watched the shuttle door whoosh shut on Spock, McCoy muttered. “Godspeed, you unselfish bastard. I want some answers when you get back. So you better be certain and haul that green ass of yours back here.” He grimaced. “Or you’ll be in big trouble with me. I won‘t take it too kindly if you die on me.”

Die!

Oh, hell!

It hit McCoy in the midsection.

Spock could die.

 

They had not heard from Spock in hours. Then a weak transmission came through to the bridge of the Enterprise.

“Spo-- --ere”

“Spock?! Is that you?!” Kirk yelled as he felt McCoy tense beside him.

“…save yourself. Poison gas around shuttle…. will envelop Enterprise….”

“Spock! We’ve got to try to save you!”

“…no…. go…. do not know how….”

“Spock!”

“Go!” came through loudly. “Leave me!”

Communication must’ve momentarily improved. McCoy took a chance. He didn’t care about protocol, or chain of command, or anything. Just Spock’s life.

“Shut up, Spock!” McCoy barked. “We’re rescuing you!”

“Why, thank you, Captain McCoy.”

Kirk looked at the stunned McCoy. Kirk didn’t know whether to crow in relief or cry huge sobs. For the first time in hours, he felt optimistic. 

“Scotty! Bring that shuttlecraft aboard!”

“Aye, Captain!” The relief was apparent in Scotty’s voice, also.

Kirk got a slapdash smile on his face to check his emotions. He nodded emphatically in approval.

“Bones, let’s go down and meet that shuttle! Spock is home!”

McCoy beat Kirk to the turbo lift.


	3. If The Room Feels Crowded, It's Because I’m In It

They pulled Spock from the shuttle. He was barely responsive.

“Bones! Get Spock to sickbay. I’ll get back to the bridge. We need to get out of here before the Euthumbrians start to retaliate more! We have enough of a problem getting away from their poison gas!”

“Here! You guys!” McCoy directed two guards. “Grab Mr. Spock! Come with me!” McCoy led the little column forward, a guard on either side of Spock as they carried him.

They got Spock to a private room and McCoy stationed the guards at the outer door. He sent Chapel after supplies. Then, for one blazing moment, McCoy was alone with Spock, Spock who seemed more like a living corpse than a man. 

Safety had tapped Spock’s physical resources, and he had allowed himself to relax. The adrenaline that had kept him going long enough to get to the Enterprise had drained away. He was less responsive than when he had been pulled from the shuttle.

Getting Spock back to safety caused a different reaction in McCoy. Relief manifested itself in belligerency toward him. 

“So, you made it back, after all,” McCoy addressed the unconscious man on the biobed. “Why? Just to see my face when I realized that you had managed to achieve that? So you’re superior to me. So, what? Why do you have to keep rubbing it in? What is it with you, Spock? What makes you keep coming back for more? Can you hate me that much?” But, even as he said it, McCoy knew that it wasn’t hatred that had drawn Spock back. It had been love for Kirk and the Enterprise. Spock might try to deny it, but he loved deeply. He so loved Kirk and the Enterprise that he had not given into Death.

McCoy knew that he was the one filled with negative feelings, not this person who supposedly was the alien. McCoy began to wonder about his own actions and motives, about his own humanity. This hadn’t been what he’d planned to say to Spock, if Spock had made it back. Why had anger and hostility come out now? 

Because McCoy was mad at Spock for taking a chance with his life? And why would McCoy think he had any influence over what Spock chose to do?

At that moment, Chapel scurried into the private room, and McCoy tended to his patient. McCoy could minister to Spock’s body because he was another patient, but that’s where it ended. Let’s keep personalities, and feelings, out of this situation, McCoy decided.

Feelings.

The alien would hate that inference. He would want nothing to do with feelings, least of all McCoy‘s.

 

“Why isn’t he getting any better, Bones?” a worried Kirk demanded of McCoy. “Why isn’t he responding?”

“All I know is that he is somehow regenerating himself. The instruments show that he is getting better, but I'm not doing it. Somehow deep in his mind he must be instructing his body how to heal itself. And that is why what we see here, this shell, is just that: a shell. His essence, his soul, is somewhere else.” He pursed his lips. “And we can’t reach him. He has to decide when, and I suppose if, he'll come back to us.”

“So, he doesn’t even realize that we’re here.”

“I don’t know. But it has to be more than a coma.”

“People in comas are aware of the world around themselves. Is he aware of us?”

“I don’t know, Jim. I just don’t know. I wish I did. But you know him. When he gets a mindset, he can be very stubborn.”

“Reminds me of someone else who can be pretty mule headed.”

It was the first lessening of worry that McCoy had seen on Kirk’s face since they had brought Spock back. McCoy reminded himself that Kirk was his patient, too, and very worried about his friend.

“Well, maybe I’ve got a reason, Captain. Maybe a certain green-blooded aggravation drives me crazy.”

McCoy was rewarded with a further softening of Kirk’s face, and McCoy was happy that he could bring some relief to someone. As for himself, his mouth felt full of ashes from what he had said to Spock and about him.

 

“Alright, I don’t know where you are, Vulcan, and I don’t know if you can even hear me," McCoy was saying to Spock‘s sleeping body. “You have me questioning my every belief in medicine, in logic, in myself, and in my skills. I don’t know why you are doing this to, to--” McCoy bit his lips together. “To Jim. But he’s really suffering. He wants you back.” McCoy decided to take a chance. What would it hurt? “I, ah, I want you back. The way you were. Just as cussed ornery and aggravating and stubborn as ever. Is that too much to ask? A return to what we knew? There aren’t too many constants in this life, and I thought that you would be one of them. A burr in my hide. An aggravation amounting to a swarm of gnats around the face on a summer evening. But here. And alive. And responsive. But this, this, this, whatever this is, it has to end. We can’t take it anymore. We can’t just watch you lying here-- Dying.” McCoy bit his lips together and turned aside. Tears sprang into his eyes.

“Hell, Spock, have a heart. I know you do. You can be a frosty-assed bastard, but surely you aren’t out to torture us Earthlings. We surely mean something to you. Give us a break, huh? Come back to us, restored, and I‘ll leave you alone.” McCoy felt like he was bargaining with God, but he continued. “That sounds like a pretty good deal, doesn’t it? Come back, and I’ll leave you alone. That should be something that should appeal to both of us.”

If it was such a good deal, then why were there ashes in McCoy’s mouth? But Spock couldn’t hear ashes, so he had no idea how much McCoy’s bargaining was tearing McCoy up.

 

Surely it was time now to check the instruments again. Surely it would show some improvement. Surely it was time for hope to burn once more, if only for a moment before it was extinguished again.

Leonard McCoy stared at the instruments as they burned into his eyes. They even started to swim. McCoy blinked and turned away. He knew that the swimming of the instruments was caused by more than eye strain. He felt dampness creeping down his face. McCoy was happy that Kirk wasn’t around to see his tears. He was especially happy that the Vulcan couldn’t see his obvious emotional display.

No, right now McCoy would give anything if the Vulcan could see his tears. He’d even smile if Spock was tearing apart his dearest theory with derision. McCoy just wanted the Vulcan back, with his condescending attitude and superior behavior.

Why had Spock gone out on a shuttle by himself on a suicide mission? Why had he thought himself expendable? Why had he taken a chance? Didn’t he know he would be missed?

That brought McCoy up short. Of course, Spock knew he would be missed by Jim Kirk. They were friends. But Spock had no idea that he would be missed by his nemesis, Dr. McCoy. And why should Spock? It wasn’t as if McCoy had ever treated the alien with the least shred of friendship.

I tolerate him, McCoy thought defensively. That sounded inadequate even to McCoy. Tolerance wasn’t the same as friendship. McCoy was more decent to Romulans. Didn’t a crew mate deserve at least decency?

 

Kirk stabbed listlessly at the food on his plate. For once, food couldn‘t tempt him. He was too worried about Spock. “You know that Spock wanted to go to the Euthumbrians because he thought you wouldn’t be able to handle the physical strain, don’t you, Bones?”

McCoy shoved aside his likewise untouched dinner. “Damn bastard always did think he’s stronger than I am.”

“Bones. That’s because he is. You couldn’t have done what he did, and survived. He saved your life. He was trying to protect you.”

“I know,” McCoy grumbled in concession. “And now I can’t pay him back.” He glared at Kirk’s well-stirred food. “Eat, damn it! I wouldn’t know what to do with an anorexic captain!”

That brought a welcomed grin to Kirk’s face. “I might say the same thing to you.”

“And you’d be practicing medicine without a license!” McCoy snapped.

Kirk concentrated on his food. Only Spock could lock horns successfully with McCoy. Amateurs like Kirk really shouldn’t try.

 

“Spock, what’s wrong?” McCoy asked the living corpse on the biobed. “You should be responding by now. You weren’t hurt that much physically. Are you going through some psychological crisis? How can I help if I don’t know what’s wrong?” He stared at the man whose facial features were so well-known to him, but at the moment unreadable. “Help me. Help me to help you. I can’t do this on my own.” He rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe that I’m this worried about you. First when you were out in the shuttle, and now this. You really know how to twist people around, don’t you? Do you enjoy playing with Earthlings, because of our emotions? Well, I’ll tell you right now that I don’t like it, and I don’t appreciate it!” 

Nothing. Spock breathed on, and the machines whirred on.

It was getting to McCoy, this watching this living dead man. He just wanted Spock awake and robust and sassy and condescending. He wanted the old Spock back, he didn’t care how much crow he had to eat.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this,” he said, rolling his eyes and looking stunned at what he was hearing himself say. “It seems I’ve missed you. It seems I’ve missed everything about you. I guess that you’re a part of my life now, and I would miss you if you weren’t around anymore. I know you couldn’t understand what I’m talking about, even if you could hear me. You’d probably think that I was being emotional again, and weak. You equate emotions to weakness, don’t you? So you couldn’t begin to understand what I’m talking about. But, but, I, ah, need you, Spock. I need you in my life. I don’t think I could stand losing you again.” McCoy squared his shoulders as he felt anger rising in himself. “So stop this horsing around and come back.” McCoy lost his steam just as quickly as he'd gotten it. “Come back to me,“ he begged. “Come back to us. To all of us.” He bit his lips together. “Because there is no ‘us’ without you. And there never will be again. Unless you come back.”

 

But long hours still passed without the man in the biobed moving. And then, the magic happened.

Spock began to stir and McCoy rushed to his side.

“Spock? Can you hear me? Spock?”

Spock’s movement became more agitated. “Danger…. Jim…. Look out! Jim!”

“Spock. It’s alright. You’re safe. You’re back aboard the Enterprise.”

Spock’s head turned on the pillow. “Jim…. Jim….”

“It’s McCoy. You’re safe with me.”

“Jim….”

Disappointment stabbed McCoy. “I’ll call him. He’ll be right here. I promise”

That seemed to satisfy Spock, and he quieted.

McCoy pressed the comm. “McCoy to Bridge.”

“Kirk here. Any change in Spock, Bones?”

“He’s coming around, Jim. He’s, ah, asking for you.”

“I’ll be right there!”

McCoy could almost hear the excitement in Kirk’s voice as he turned off the comm. Of course, Kirk was excited. His friend was regaining consciousness and was asking for him. The worry was over, and he would be reunited with his dear friend.

Wonder what that was like, McCoy questioned himself.

He busied himself by washing Spock’s face and hands with a damp cloth. Nurses were supposed to do that, but McCoy wanted to do it himself. He thought it would be a gesture that the fastidious Vulcan would appreciate. It had been done before by nurses for cleanliness sake, but McCoy wanted Spock to be aware of the tactile experience. The fresh feeling of cleansed skin and the symbolic washing away of the old appealed to McCoy for his patient. And Spock would appreciate him for something.

Kirk came sliding into sickbay, a huge grin on his face. “Bones! Where is he?!”

McCoy wanted to answer that Spock was still on the same biobed where Kirk had last seen him, but could think of no way that did not sound petty or snippy. The doctor simply stood aside and let Kirk rush past him. 

“Spock! Spock!” Kirk yelled.

The Vulcan turned, opened his eyes, and what passed for a smile went across his face.

“Jim.”

Spock’s voice sounded weak and thin, but his dark eyes were bright.

“Don’t tire him too much, Jim,” McCoy cautioned, but it was obvious that Kirk didn’t hear him. He saw Kirk smiling at Spock as his eyes filled with images of the living, breathing Vulcan. Spock’s eyes likewise filled with the sight of Jim Kirk. As far as they were concerned, they were the only two in that room, on that ship, in that galaxy, in the whole universe.

McCoy knew that he was definitely the third most important person in that room. And that was okay. He was a doctor. It was his job to patch up people so other people would have them back in their lives. It was his job to restore health and wellness, so patients could resume their lives. It was his job to restore equilibrium and happiness. And he was good at his job.

Not like he was really a part of the lives of the patients in any personal way, whatsoever. Especially this patient.

McCoy was just part of the hired help.

Damn it, he didn’t want to sound so filled with self-pity, but he believed that he had good reason. Kirk and Spock were in their own little universe, but he couldn’t help but look on. He shouldn’t be subjecting himself to this torture, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. He should be happy for them, and he was. But he was also just so damn sorry for himself.

“Jim, it is so good to see you.”

“And it is so good to see you, too, Spock.” 

“I thought I would not see you again.“

“I know that it had to be frightening out there--“

“It was more than frightening, Jim. It was horrifying.” Spock’s eyes looked wild. “I never want to see anything like it again.“

Kirk glanced at McCoy with a question on his face. Why was Spock showing so much emotion, Kirk wanted to know.

“Jim, I need to tell you--”

Kirk turned back to Spock. “Later. Save it for later. You rest now.”

“But, there may not be a later time!”

“Spock. You’re safe.”

“It is not that. You have been right. It was wrong for me to deny emotions. I have been wrong, so wrong!”

Kirk wanted to correct Spock. McCoy had been the one after Spock to show his emotions, not Kirk. Kirk had always been willing to take from Spock whatever Spock was willing to offer. Perhaps Spock had mixed up his two friends.

“The beings I encountered, Jim. They were machines. Just machines. I should have been contented, but I found that I was not. I have been around Earthlings too long I suppose. I missed them. Irrational, emotional, erratic Earthlings! Everything I had always ridiculed about Earthlings was now absent from my associates. And I found myself discontented.” 

“That’s understandable, Spock. You’ve grown accustomed to us now.”

“But I had never told you. I never said, ‘Jim, I like your humanity. I appreciate your friendship. I like your trying to advise me.’” His hand weaved frantically in the air. 

Kirk caught Spock’s hand and was amazed at the strength in the frail man. Spock must be concentrating all of his strength in that hand. He must be desperate for Kirk to understand.

“Jim. My friend.”

“I’m here, Spock.”

“This feeling I have for you. This simple feeling. To you, it probably seems like a small thing, but out there, out with those machines, the feeling between you and me was huge, huge as the universe. Because there was no personal feeling at all between those machines. There was nothing. I would have died from their lack of emotion.” 

Spock struggled to explain, but could not. Kirk simply held his hand and gave him time to form his thoughts into words.

“I understand, Spock,” Kirk said at last. “It’s difficult for any of us to form into words. But that doesn’t lessen the significance of feeling, or the power of it.”

“I learned so much, Jim. I have been wrong.”

“I know, my friend. I know,” Kirk murmured.

“I have the universe in you,” Spock spoke with tears in his voice and in his eyes. “You are my friend, and I am so thankful that I can tell you that.”

“And I am thankful that I am here to hear you say that to me. It means so much.”

“You mean so much to me, Jim.”

McCoy had seen enough. He definitely was not needed, and especially not wanted, here. Spock was no longer in crisis. Now he was recovering. His doctor was no longer needed.

Besides, the friends deserved their time alone. McCoy turned and left. He knew that his passage was simply a shift in the air currents to the two friends, if they noticed his departure, at all. 

Spock‘s eyes filled with tears. “I thought I would not be able to tell you any of this. I thought that I would not be able to get back to you.”

Kirk could tell that Spock was emotionally depleted and still physically fragile. He pressed Spock‘s hand firmly between his own. “Spock. It’s alright. You’re safe now. But you need to rest. Get your strength back. Bones will take care of you. Isn’t that right, Bones?“ When Kirk got no answer, he turned. “Bones?” Kirk asked as he looked around for his friend. “That’s funny. He was right here.”

“I believe he left, Jim.”

“Hmm. Well, perhaps he was needed elsewhere. You get some rest now, alright?” Kirk said with a sincere smile. “I’ll be here whenever you need me to be. Okay?”

A smile spread over Spock‘s face. “Yes, Captain. And thank you. Jim.”


	4. Isn’t It Nice That There Are Two Of Us Who Are So Out Of Step In This Parade?

“Where did you go to just now?” Kirk asked with just an edge to his voice.

McCoy looked up from his desk in sickbay. “I do have other work to do, you know.”

“When Spock’s life is so tenuous?!”

“Oh, relax, Jim,” McCoy said and threw aside his pencil with some irritation. “The Vulcan will live. We have to move on. There‘s over four hundred other people on this ship who need my attention, and I‘ve been neglecting them.”

“But none that is a close friend!”

“Spock is your close friend, Jim, not mine. He and I are associates, thrown together because we are heads of our divisions. Nothing more. Accept that.” He frowned. “I have.”

“Is that why you left Spock and me alone just now?”

“It was getting rather crowded in there,” McCoy grumbled.

“Bones--”

“Look, Jim, it was a private moment for you and Spock. I wanted to give you your space.”

“Bones, he is your friend, too.”

McCoy let his breath out in a huff. “No, Jim, he is not. I am his crew mate and fellow officer. We are an efficient backup operation for your thinking system, and you think of us as your two closest friends. It is true that Spock and I have had some harrowing adventures together. We’ve saved each other’s lives. We back each other when it comes to fighting the bad guy. We make a helluva fighting team. But that’s it. I have had harrowing adventures with Scotty and ten other red shirts I could mention. We are all on the same team: me, Scotty, red shirts, Spock. Period.”

“Bones. I don’t know why you can’t see it--”

“I just did see it! Spock had eyes for only you!”

“But he needs you there. Just as he needed me to be with him. You are important to him, also.”

“Why don’t you run all this past the cold-hearted Vulcan?!” McCoy suddenly lashed out. “He’s the one with ice water running through his circulatory system! Not me!”

“I can't, because he IS the one with ice water running through his circulatory system!”

McCoy‘s eyes blazed. “You think I’m more approachable?! Me?!”

“Maybe you aren’t any more open, but I know that you are concerned about him.”

“I’m his doctor,” McCoy grumbled.

“You’re his friend, so stop denying it.”

“I don’t know where you got a fool notion like that,” McCoy muttered.

“I know something that you might not remember about your supposed ‘indifferent’ relationship with your ‘fellow crew mate.‘ I know that you’re the one who died a thousand deaths in silence while we awaited word of Spock’s fate in the shuttlecraft, just as I did. I know you felt that you could not voice your worry, though. Instead, you just turned white and tried to crush my chair with your hands.” Kirk frowned. “Why do you think you’re not allowed to worry about him?”

“Because he doesn’t want my concern, Jim.” McCoy’s voice sounded tired, so tired of a subject that’s outcome would never change. “That’s it, pure and simple. He doesn’t want me.” McCoy caught his error. “My concern. He doesn’t want my concern.”

But Kirk knew it was a Freudian slip, and a beauty, at that.

“Bones. He is your friend.”

“Do you know you would make one helluva sob sister?! Now, go away! Unless you’re ill or hurt, I’ve got work to do! Go on! Shoo!” He made a shooing motion with one hand. “Get out of my sickbay! Go back to the bridge and aggravate some ensign, or flirt with some pretty yeoman you haven‘t compromised yet.”

“Bones! I’m your friend, too.”

“I know, Jim,” McCoy said, and suddenly seemed to deflate. “But right now, I’m tired of the whole situation. I just want a little space, a little quiet time. Is that so much to ask?”

Kirk studied the physically exhausted and emotionally spent man. “You’ve had a rough time of it lately, haven’t you?“ Kirk asked softly. “You’ve been with Spock, day and night, haven’t you?”

“Why not? I couldn’t have stayed away, even if I’d taken a break.”

“Spock and I aren’t some of your favorite people right now, are we?”

“You’ll always be that, but you’re right. Right now, neither one of you is all that popular with me. Does that make me a bad person?”

“No, just someone who needs some peace and quiet. I’ll provide that for you, and I’m sure that Spock will, also.”

McCoy frowned. “Spock wasn’t the one I was worried about. Staying away from me will be real easy for him to do.”

Kirk wanted to reassure McCoy because the man certainly needed it. But Kirk couldn’t promise McCoy something he couldn’t guarantee. Who knew what Spock was really thinking?

 

“Spock! You have some fences that need mending!” Kirk demanded before he’d even said hello or asked how Spock was feeling that day.

The invalid set aside the text he had been reading and eyed Kirk. His robe seemed to envelop him and made him look more inscrutable than ever. “I do not understand this fence mending that you believe I need to undertake, Captain. Will I need carpentry tools? And, if so, where do I obtain them?”

Kirk walked around Spock‘s quarters. “Don’t hand me that crap! Don’t play me like you do McCoy!”

“I do not understand, Captain. Honestly.”

Kirk stopped and stared at Spock. “No, you probably don’t,” Kirk said with exasperation. “I’ll put it this way: McCoy thinks that he is nothing special to you.”

“And is he supposed to be?” Spock asked, puzzled.

“You’re doing it again! And I won’t allow it!”

“And you are beginning to rant in a fashion similar to Dr. McCoy.”

“Then you’ll start treating me like you do him, huh?”

“That would only be logical--”

“Spock! The man thinks that you are indifferent to him!”

Spock frowned. “Indifferent? I thought that I was treating him with derision. That is rather a definite reaction, I would think. There is nothing indifferent about that.”

“I could debate you all day. I think that’s what you would welcome so you could avoid the real issue, but I‘m not going to play your game. Just let me tell you this: You are hurting Dr. McCoy. You may be Vulcan with control of your emotions, but he is an Earthling. He’s all over the place with what he is feeling, and you are the reason.”

“You cannot blame me for his erratic behavior,” Spock said stubbornly.

“Maybe not. But you are responsible for his acting the way that he is. He might leave the Enterprise.“ 

“Leave the Enterprise? Why would he do something like that?”

“Because he might want a change, for starters! A certain green-blooded alien has been plaguing the hell out of him!”

Spock frowned. “He wants a change from… me?”

“That‘s what I‘m saying! And if he leaves the Enterprise, I will hold you personally accountable.”

“Captain! That would hardly be fair.”

“Maybe not. But it would most certainly be just.”

“I do not understand the logic of the situation.”

“Then let me put it another way. In this life, not all situations that come your way are going to be just or logical or even make sense. Some are just plain going to stink, because you think you aren’t responsible. But other people are going to hold you accountable, or blame you simply because they are looking for a scapegoat. And, Sugar Lips, today you are my scapegoat! My patsy! My stooge!”

Complete confusion crossed Spock’s face.

“Adopt him! Marry him! Make him your bond mate! I don’t care, Spock! But keep McCoy here! By any means you can! Stretch yourself a little!”

“But, Captain--”

“I know I sound unfair. But I expect that a thorough investigation by the best detectives from Scotland Yard, from Sherlock Holmes, even, would come up with the same conclusions I have! You’re the best suspect I’ve got! Circumstantial evident is piling up around you, Spock.” He studied the alien’s disgruntled face. “Come on, Spock. You like a challenge, don’t you? Be nicer to McCoy. That‘s all that I‘m saying.”

“A challenge is one thing, Captain. What you are asking seems impossible.”

“I didn’t realize that I was asking, Commander. I thought that I was demanding. And if I am still being too subtle for your alien comprehension, consider my request to be an order! Top priority. Got that?! Sugar Lips?!”

Spock raised one arched eyebrow and sighed. “Yes, Captain. I do believe that I have ‘got that.’”

 

Anyone coming across Leonard McCoy in his quarters would have thought that the CMO had suddenly gone crazy. He was talking to himself, or so it seemed. In reality, he was talking earnestly to Spock, who just happened not to be physically present.

“I know you don’t want a thing to do with me, and, really, I don’t blame you. We have to serve together, but the Enterprise is a big ship. We could go days, hell, weeks, without ever having to cross paths. You stay healthy and out of sickbay. And use other labs. I’ll stay away from the bridge. We’ll eat at different times in the mess hall and stagger meals so that Jim always has company, but we don’t have to be plagued with each other. There! See? Out of each other‘s lives.”

It was just a matter of acting.

McCoy checked his steely-eyed determination in his mirror, and that’s when he saw the infinite sadness on his face.

Oh, hell. Even a five-year-old child could tell that McCoy wasn’t meaning his words. But he could keep his vow of avoidance as much as he was able. There was no reason to openly hurt himself. Hell, he wasn’t sure if he knew why he was hurting. He just did.

 

Of course, neither kept the elaborate plans they had made or had been forced to make. And Kirk backed off when life settled back into its comfortable routine for him.

McCoy and Spock just formed new routines, and consideration for the other one became habit after awhile. They didn’t avoid each other, even if that had initially seemed to be the easiest plan for McCoy to follow. And Spock learned that being companionable with McCoy and not being so abrasive had its merits for his own benefit as well as McCoy‘s. So, life hummed along for the two awkward, lonely people. 

 

There even came a day when they formed some semblance of peace between themselves, but the negotiations had been awkward as hell.

“Mr. Spock.”

“Doctor.”

“You are feeling better?”

“Yes. Thank you for asking.” 

“You're welcome,“ McCoy said awkwardly.

A pause, then Spock remembered that he was supposed to inquire about the doctor’s health, also. “And you are experiencing good health?”

“Sufficiently. Thank you for asking.“

“You are welcome,“ Spock replied carefully.

“Of course, I won’t be roller skating for awhile, but I didn’t know if I wanted to take that sport up again or not.”

“Hmm. Yes. Wise decision,” Spock remarked at last.

“Yes. Hmm.”

An echoing silence settled over them.

Finally, Spock said, “I thought that I was treating you with respect.”

“W-what?!”

“Down through the years. I thought I was being respectful to you.”

“You did. That wasn’t what I minded.”

“You wanted to be friends.” 

The words seemed to bump into each other on Spock’s tongue, and McCoy could hear their difficult formation.

“Look, if you can’t do something like this--”

“Jim Kirk thinks I need to be friends with you. I thought I could not commit to an intimate relationship with you, then I realized that I had a long time ago and just had not realized it. Leonard, we are company for each other. I think a great deal of you. You are very special to me--”

McCoy was hearing what he thought that he had wanted to hear for a long time, but the surprise was that he wanted to protect not only himself, but Spock. “Save it, Spock. You don’t have to say it.”

“Jim thinks I should.”

“Well, Jim Kirk doesn’t always get to decide these things now, does he?”

“Maybe not, but I do. And I say, let us try to be companionable.”

McCoy smiled. “It’s a start. I can live with that.”

So they parted company with a shaky peace between them. Shaky, but most definitely a peace. Until the next ‘discussion,’ that is.

 

So, of course, Leonard McCoy didn’t leave the Enterprise. It wasn’t much of a life for him, but it was the best choice he could see for himself. He and Spock could even learn to co-exist, after a fashion, and could become companionable together. Maybe, in time, there would be a deeper friendship between them, but that wasn’t going to happen for awhile. Both of them were private and had been greatly hurt by life. Neither of them was a flamboyant Jim Kirk. And truth be known, neither of them wanted to be.

 

“Tired, Doctor?” Spock asked as he watched McCoy rubbing the back of his neck.

McCoy exhaled noisily. Why did there always seem to be an epidemic in sickbay, lately? This one was into the third day of intestinal flu. “I’ll be alright, just as soon as I catch my breath.”

“Would it not be more advisable for you to eat some food and get some rest?”

“Well, now, that would be advisable, but when in the hell am I supposed to do something like that in the middle of this epidemic?!”

“It would not serve any purpose for you to succumb to the illness yourself.”

“Maybe not! But there it is!”

“Do you hardly need for me to point out that you are being highly illogical?”

“It isn’t that! I just wish you didn’t always have to be so damned right!”

Spock knew that McCoy‘s concession had no teeth in it. McCoy was frustrated with his human frailty, not angry with Spock. “I cannot help what I am, Doctor.”

“A cold, unfeeling machine with legs?” McCoy snapped without thinking.

A tiny flicker of pain flashed through Spock’s eyes, and the alien visibly flinched.

“Spock, I, I’m sorry. That was harsh of me.”

“Perhaps I have overstepped a boundary.”

“No, it was me. I said it without thinking. That was wrong of me.”

“I did not wish to criticize you or to point out weaknesses on your part. It is more than thinking you cannot fulfill your duty. Not anymore. I was genuinely concerned about you.”

“I know. I was a louse to snap at you. I appreciate your interest. Perhaps I should rest awhile.”

“That would be for the best, Doctor. You have a competent staff. Besides, you do not want to become a patient in your own sickbay.”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“I will be here, Doctor, until you return.”

“You don’t have to do that, Spock.”

“I want to do that. For you.” Then after a moment, Spock asked, “Is that alright?” 

The reason Spock asked was because McCoy had looked so thunderstruck. And the reason for McCoy’s startled look was Spock saying he would stay, “For you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Spock. I would appreciate that very much.”

“You are most welcomed, Leonard.”

“You can stay in my office, if you’d like. It’s more private in there.”

“Thank you. I will, if there is a lull in the foot traffic.”

“Alright. I’ll leave sickbay in your capable hands.”

“Leonard. It will be okay. Go, rest now.”

“Right. Right. See you later, then.”

It wasn’t until McCoy was headed for his quarters that he realized that Spock had gotten him to do just exactly what Spock had wanted him to do. McCoy smirked. Damn green-blooded bastard was smart, McCoy had to give him that. 

They had gotten so they were genuinely concerned about each other and were careful of each other’s feelings. For them, those were huge improvements. Maybe, in time, they could even learn to be friends, after all. 

It was definitely a start.


	5. You Are So Careless, You Need A Keeper.  So I Am Applying For That Job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The previous chapter had been projected as the end of this fic. The story was meant to chronicle the early phases of the friendship between Spock and McCoy by the rearranging of famous Star Trek scenes. Any great friendship, let alone romance, was in the dim and distant future, if ever.
> 
> Then this chapter made its appearance. I realized that the guys, the readers, and even I deserved something more after all of the angst in this story. The guys really hadn‘t been very nice to each other. They had to learn to care for and be protective of each other. And sometimes those were difficult lessons for them. They wanted to know what was in it for them. If only they had known!
> 
> So, here is a bonus chapter for all of us. 
> 
> Plus, I got to use another Star Trek reference.

McCoy didn’t know how he had gotten himself into this situation. He wasn’t even supposed to be on this landing party, but Kirk had caved and let McCoy attend. McCoy supposed that Kirk felt guilty because McCoy hadn’t gotten to contact the Euthumbrians. Forget that McCoy probably wouldn’t have survived that contact. It was the principle of the thing.

And it was the principle of the thing that McCoy got to be included with this landing party. Once again, the stakes for knowledge were high, and McCoy wanted his chance for his piece of the pie. And, hot damn, it was gonna happen!

But McCoy wasn’t supposed to be down in this basement on a routine walk-through. No knowledge could be gained here, not in a storeroom of old furniture and other assorted junk. He wanted to be investigating the laboratories on the upper level of this former medical complex.

And McCoy sure as hell wasn’t supposed to be partnered up with his nemesis!

“So, are you learning anything, Doctor?” Spock asked in a condescending voice.

“Shut up, Spock! You’ll cause a draft, and that’ll cause an explosion.”

“I hardly expect my breath to be that volatile, Doctor.”

“Well, now,” McCoy said with an evil twinkle in his eyes that did nothing to hide his biting sarcasm. “You’ll never know until you try, will you? As Lauren Becall said to Humphrey Bogart in ‘To Have and Have Not,’ ‘You just put your lips together and blow.’ Go on. Try it. Who knows? You might cause one helluva explosion.”

“If you keep saying things like that, Doctor, you may have me reconsidering my recommendation that you be allowed to be a part of this expedition.”

“Oh? Really? You’re the one I have to thank for that?” McCoy said with all of the mocking derision he could muster. “Here I thought Jim was responsible.”

“You had missed your opportunity to meet the Euthumbrians, so I thought you should not be overlooked this time. Although if you had been the one to attempt contact with the Euthumbrians, you most assuredly would not be here now to be bleating your disdain so vehemently.”

“Really? You thought? You thought that I should not be overlooked? What would Captain Kirk ever do without your guiding counsel?”

“Really, Doctor. You are being rather a bore today.”

“Maybe it’s because of the company I’m with! How come you buddied up with me, anyway?!”

“Somebody has to keep you out of harm’s way,” Spock muttered.

“What?!” McCoy brushed his arm against something that shifted beside him. He automatically reached out and steadied it.

“Doctor, I recommend that you watch where you are going. There are all sorts of trash down here. Furniture. File cabinets. You do not want to get injured.”

"Isn't that why you're here with me?" McCoy sneered. "To safeguard me in times of peril?"

"Doctor, I am capable of doing only so much. I propose that you help yourself as much as possible."

"How did I ever possibly manage to survive for as long as I have without you around to protect me?"

"My point, exactly. Thank you for your help in proving it."

"But I didn't mean--"

"Doctor, I thought that you were so interested in data accumulation and exploration of unknown habitats that you could not wait to get out into the field. However, now that you are here, I have seen very little investigating on your part. Mammoths could be living down in this basement, but you would most assuredly be unaware of their existence."

 "Now, if there were piles of fresh mammoth dung lying about, I am quite certain we would have been aware of them by this time. As the old saying goes, never walk a straight line down on the farm. And always keep your eyes looking down!"

"I have been aware of an odd odor down here. Have you noticed it?"

"No. Only aggravating auditory stimuli. It appears to be coming for my near right."

"This is hardly a joking matter, Doctor. It is not advisable for us to be in the lowest level of a multilevel building in case of an explosion."

"Well, as I said before, your breath could be the cause of an explosion."

Spock stopped. "I do not like this situation, Doctor. An obvious odor is becoming more apparent with increasing frequency."

“Oh, I’m certain that if objects start flying, you will most assuredly be able to halt the projectiles with your hands. All six of them. Our champion in the face of adversity, that's our Mr. Spock. The queller of the storm, no matter what blast or explosion may head our way at any moment now.”

McCoy was also certain that Spock would have had some smart retort to that, but the Vulcan never got to voice it. For at that moment, an explosion indeed rocked the building and knocked McCoy and Spock off their feet.

Among McCoy’s last thoughts were that he hadn’t realized that he could predict the future or that Spock could actually cause an explosion with his breath. What a stupid thing to be thinking when he could be dying!

Then things were flying, including men, and something heavy took McCoy to the floor as incredible pain tore through him. A blessed blackness snuffed out all reality, except--

Spock!

His last thought was of--

Spock!

Then even that name disappeared.

 

The world was dust and pain. McCoy lay coughing. After a moment he struggled to rise, but couldn’t. That’s when he realized that his legs were pinned under something heavy that he couldn’t begin to budge.

Spock!

“Dr. McCoy!”

“Over here, Spock! I’m pinned!”

Another moment, and McCoy felt a body graze along his as it dropped beside him.

“Doctor,” Spock breathed, relief reflecting in his voice and amazing McCoy with its intensity.

Then Spock pulled McCoy into his arms. McCoy grunted with pain, but was amazed how reassured he felt just by human contact. Forget that it was Spock’s arms. Apparently, Spock had also forgotten it was McCoy’s body, because he grasped McCoy as if he never wanted to let him go. Maybe the Vulcan just needed reassurance himself, reassurance that McCoy was alive. Maybe the Vulcan was trying to help! Now, there was a thought!

“Dr. McCoy. There is danger of fire, or another explosion. We must get out of here.”

McCoy could hear the concern in Spock’s voice. Spock, who never panicked, was panicking.

“I’m not wanting to stick around! But I can’t move!”

“I will try to move whatever is pinning you.”

“No! You can’t! It’s too heavy. Leave me here, Spock. Go for help.”

“We go together or not at all.”

“Don’t be a fool! I can’t get out. I don’t know if I could even walk, if I could get up. Alone, you have a chance. Now do what I say. Go try to find Jim.”

“We go together.”

“Damn stubborn--”

“That is correct,” Spock said with determination. “Now, I will move your impediment.”

It was almost as if Spock was giving himself a pep talk, and damn if it didn’t work. A few moments later McCoy felt an arm slide around his waist, then he felt himself being hauled to his feet.

McCoy grunted as pain shot through his bruised and injured legs. The arm that was wrapped around him tightened in order to hold him upright.

“Can you walk, Doctor?” Spock asked between coughs.

“Barely.” They took a shaky step, and McCoy struggled. “Just barely.”

“Come, Doctor.”

McCoy clawed at Spock’s other side to hang on. He thought he heard Spock grunt once and suck his breath in sharply.

Another step, and McCoy was exhausted.

“It’s no good, Spock. I can’t walk. Leave me, and find Jim.”

McCoy couldn’t see much in the dust or smoke or whatever it was, but he saw Spock’s lips compress in stubborn determination. Together, or not at all, came the message from that silent mouth. The Vulcan would not leave him. If McCoy couldn’t make it, neither would the Vulcan. 

On the other hand, if McCoy didn’t try and Spock stayed with him, then McCoy would be responsible for Spock’s death. McCoy sure as hell didn’t want that messing up his karma for the rest of eternity.

Besides that, he just didn’t want to lose Spock. That thought surprised him. He hadn’t realized that he cared that much for the life of the alien. But care, he did! And he was not going to be responsible for the loss of that life!

With that, McCoy’s determination returned.

They limped short, painful, jerking steps toward the door, expecting at any moment to be stopped by a building collapsing on them, or another explosion that would flatten them for good, or the both of them keeling over from poisonous fumes.

But none of that happened, and soon they found themselves out in the hallway. They painfully limped another few feet away from the smoke, then they both slid to the floor in exhaustion and breathed in fresher air while coughing.

“The air is (cough) better down here, Doctor.”

“You’re right,” McCoy said as he lay exhausted in Spock’s arms, but he was optimistic. “Damn it, Vulcan! We might get out of this mess yet! Just take a moment to catch our breaths and then--”

“But, just in case we do not get out of here, I want you to know something.”

McCoy glanced up at the half-hidden face above him. “Why are you talking like that?! We’re not licked yet!”

“Doctor… Please… I want you to know that I have respect for you… now. I may not have at first, but now--”

"Stop talking like that!"

"I consider you a... friend... a good... friend...." Spock mumbled. "In... fact... more. My... mine...."

“Spock?” He frowned at Spock’s gray face. Surely that pallor wasn’t all from explosion dust. He shook Spock. “What’s wrong?”

Spock roused himself. “Nothing, Doctor.”

But the doctor mode had kicked in in McCoy, and he raised up. “Why did you go down so easily just now? Were you injured, too?”

McCoy became aware of dampness on his hand and arm. He held up his arm and saw green blood caked everywhere. His favorite expletive came to mind, but thankfully not to his lips.

“Spock! Bones!” Kirk’s voice bellowed over the comm. “Where are you guys?! Are you okay?!”

“Jim! We’re down here in the basement! We’re injured! We need some help!”

“We’ll be right there!”

McCoy turned back to Spock. “Where are you injured?” he asked softly.

“Side. The other side from… where I held you.”

McCoy reached out and touched the indicated side. He saw Spock flinch from McCoy’s gentle probing. Then Spock began fighting a grimace of pain as perspiration popped out below his bangs.

McCoy drew his hand back. “There’s a chunk of you missing,” McCoy informed Spock, almost conversationally. “You must’ve left some flesh back in the laboratory.”

“That is… what… I thought.”

“Damn stubborn Vulcan! Why were you pulling around on me if you were hurt?!”

“Could not…. leave… you,” Spock gasped out. “Never… leave… you. Cannot.... Never....”

It was a blow to McCoy’s midsection. Spock had been fighting great pain to rescue him. His nemesis had been willing to give his life for him. He still might succeed in doing that.

McCoy grabbed Spock’s shoulder. “You crazy bastard! You damn, crazy, stupid bastard! Why did you go and get all heroic on me?!”

“You… too. You wanted me… to leave… to save myself. I could not… do that. Had to… save… you.”

“Oh, hell, Spock,” he muttered as he squeezed Spock's shoulder. He bit down on his lips and wished he could scoop Spock up and deliver them both out of this hellhole. But he couldn't do that, he realized.

But there things he could do, things that would help his patient. He just had to get some grit again and do them. Then he tore off his shirt and stuffed it into Spock’s weeping side. 

Spock shuddered from the fresh hurting of McCoy's handling him and could not suppress a gasp of pain.

“Sorry," McCoy mumbled. "I gotta keep you from bleeding to death. Hard telling what else is messed up, on the inside of you. You just hang on until I can get you back to the Enterprise. I'll fix you up fast."

"You cannot stand to... operate... Doctor. Your legs--"

"You just watch!"

"I wish I could... Doctor. May not ever... again...."

"You shut up, damn it! You shut up with talk like that! We're getting out of this! Understand?!"

Where were Jim and the others?!

He had to keep Spock awake. "Damn it, anyway! Always underfoot! Never know where you're turning up next! No sense of purpose! You need a keeper, Vulcan! Do you know that?!”

Spock shivered from the shirt being shoved against his throbbing side and from the pain from inside injuries. “You… need a… keeper… too,” Spock managed to gasp out.

“Probably.” McCoy conceded. He was just happy to hear Spock respond. "You gotta stay here with me. Jim would never forgive me if I let something happen to his friend."

"Jim Kirk... is my... friend." He grimaced, but fought it back. "My... good friend."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," McCoy muttered as he fussed with Spock.

"But you... you are... more."

McCoy's hand froze. "What?"

"Much... much... more."

"How much more are we talking here?" McCoy asked with his heart in his throat. He shook Spock. "Darlin'? What are we talking here? How much more?"

Spock stared at him. "Dar... lin'?"

"Sorry," McCoy answered sheepishly. "I guess that, ah, slipped out."

"More," Spock murmured.

"More, what?" McCoy asked with a frown. "You like me more than Jim Kirk, or you want to hear me call you Darlin' again?"

"More!" Spock managed to gasp out.

McCoy grinned, in spite of the fact that Spock could be dying in his arms. "Both, I take it, then!"

"Both!" Spock gasped out, then shivered violently.

“Damn it! You’re going into shock!” He pulled Spock into his arms. Spock gasped from the pain, but McCoy figured that grabbing Spock was better than letting him go into shock.

McCoy could hear Jim and the others running toward them. “I’ve got to keep you warm,” he muttered as he pulled Spock tighter. “Don’t you die on me!“

“I will… try not… to… Leonard.“

“Damn straight!“ He rubbed Spock’s arms. “Better?“

“Better,“ Spock mumbled as he tried to huddle closer to McCoy. "Just... hold... me."

“What would you do without me, Vulcan?” 

“Do… not… want to… find out.”

“We’re a helluva pair, aren’t we, Vulcan?!“

“Yes, Leonard… that… we are.“

McCoy stared down at the gasping Spock in his arms and wanted to grin. Grin! That would sure as hell be a dumb-ass reaction to this situation! “Want to be my keeper? And I’ll be yours?”

The corners of Spock’s mouth tried to form into a smile, but ended with a grimace of pain. “Certainly. Why not… Earthling? Then, maybe… you will… learn… some... thing.”

McCoy's grin when it finally came was vicious and maniacal. “You’re crazier than blue blazing hell! Have I ever told you that, Vulcan?”

“You might have… mentioned it before… Earthling. In… passing.” Spock started to slide into unconsciousness.

McCoy squeezed him into wakefulness. “Stay with me, Vulcan. Damn you, you stay with me. You hear me?!" He frowned and realized that there was something that he wanted Spock to know, also. "You gotta stay with me. You wanna know why?" McCoy pursed his lips. He was going to be leaving himself wide open in case Spock wanted to be sarcastic and derisive, but he had to take the chance. He figured that this other information was more important. "I need you. Do you hear me? I need you so much. I don't want to do without you. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you in my life, anymore. So you just better stay with me, that's all I've got to say." He shook Spock. "Do you hear me, Vulcan?”

"Yes... Doctor."

" Don’t you die on me."

“I will… try… to... stay... Doctor.”

“What am I ever going to do with you?” McCoy muttered, not really expecting a response. “Where do we go from here?” Or a response to that, either. The Vulcan was damn weak, and getting weaker. Spock probably hadn’t even heard him.

But Spock had heard. "We can... go... anywhere... we wish... Doctor."

McCoy's grin was sweet and had a lot of relief in it. "There you go taking me literally again." He grew melancholy. "Why did it take being in an explosion and having you dying in my arms before I realized what you really mean to me? Why didn't I know until now that I can't live without you?"

"Slow... learner?"

McCoy gave a snort of laughter, but felt the tears pop into his eyes. "Oh, my Vulcan! Where DO we go from here?" he murmured. "I have no idea."

And then Spock had an idea of his own.

“May I… make a… suggestion… Doctor? One that… might be… acceptable to… both of… us? And help... both of... us.”

Damn the tears threatening to roll down his cheeks! His mouth quivered. "What can we possibly do, down here in this mess, unable to move, that would bring any sort of relief to us?"

"Oh... Leonard... We can... share... joy...."

McCoy frowned. "Joy? Really? Here?"

"Yes... easily.... We are... together. That is... all that... it takes. Come closer... and I will... show you, dar... lin'"

"Darlin?'" McCoy echoed in awe.

"Dar... lin,'" Spock confirmed.

By the time Jim Kirk and the others arrived a moment later, the clutching arms holding Spock upright had changed into an embrace. And McCoy’s face had a smear of green blood across the one cheek. And the stunned looks on the faces of the injured men couldn’t all be attributed to pain and physical stress. But Kirk did not know that.

Kirk simply did not realize the reason for all of that awe that he was seeing from them. They seemed to have eyes only for each other. He wasn’t entirely certain that they realized that he and a cavalry of red shirts had just ridden in to rescue them. Or that anyone else in the universe still existed.

He had no idea what had happened to them in the brief moment since Spock had spoken.

Kirk just did not know about the kiss that they had just shared.

Granted, it hadn’t been much of a kiss, but it had been a kiss, all the same.

Both pairs of lips had trembled a little, but the two injured men had gotten to experience a very shaky, but a very satisfying and proper, first kiss. If either had had any criticism of it, they both would have agreed that the kiss had been inadequately brief. But Kirk and their other rescuers were running toward them. In fact, thundering toward them. McCoy and Spock just didn’t have the opportunity to take things to the next, and very logical, level of, ah, intimacy.

Spock looked intently into McCoy‘s eyes. “Later… Doctor... My… quarters.”

“Right,” McCoy answered numbly as he was jostled by red shirts trying to help him. Damn it! If he just had the time to think! It was all happening way too fast!

And way too slow!

Spock had the best ideas! McCoy knew he wanted to learn more about the ideas. Just as soon as the two guys both healed up. Or even before. They both were amazingly resourceful. Surely, they wouldn’t let major wounds and broken bones hinder them, if they wanted to be together. It was extraordinary what thoughts they both had in common!

As Kirk fussed over them, neither McCoy nor Spock were noticing any of their intense pain, just the reassurance of being in each other‘s arms. In fact, Kirk had a little trouble getting McCoy to turn loose of Spock. The good doctor was quite a snapping bulldog about the whole matter, actually. 

McCoy kept fussing that nobody else was going to get to touch HIS Vulcan. Spock’s only response was a placid smile, but his hand was grasping McCoy’s in a death grip. They were both rather adamant about being separated for any length of time. It was almost as if they wanted to start something.

It was more than a good start, now. It was a helluva good start!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you spot the famous scenes from Star Trek TOS, Star Trek TOS movies, and Star Trek AOS movies? 
> 
>    
> CHAPTER 1 - The situation for Sarek and Spock is nearly the same as it is for them halfway through Star Trek: Into Darkness. They have lost their home planet and their wife and mother. In this fic, however, the Vulcans have found a new home.
> 
> In the last scene, McCoy is trying to thank Spock for saving his life from “the Roman gladiator out in the arena” which is reminiscent of “Bread and Circuses.”
> 
>  
> 
> CHAPTER 2 - When Spock is getting ready to board the shuttlecraft, he asks McCoy “Would you not do anything for your people? Anything for your friends? Your family?” This is reminiscent of Khan Noonien Singh asking Jim Kirk “Is there nothing you would not do for your family?” a very impassioned speech in Star Trek: Into Darkness.
> 
> Most of the chapter is a rewrite of “The Immunity Syndrome.”
> 
>  
> 
> CHAPTER 3 - McCoy talking to the unconscious Spock is taken from McCoy’s “I don’t think I can stand to lose you again” speech to the unconscious Spock in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.
> 
> Spock’s horror of the machine society of the Euthumbrians who have no emotion reflects Spock’s “This simple feeling” speech in Star Trek I: The Motion Picture.
> 
>  
> 
> CHAPTER 4 - Spock tells McCoy that “Down through the years, I thought I was being respectful to you.” Then McCoy, who always wanted to hear Spock say something like that, instead defends and protects him by saying, “Save it, Spock. You don’t have to say it.” This is precisely the discussion between McCoy and the wounded Spock in Star Trek: Beyond when they are trying to find fellow crew mates.
> 
>  
> 
> CHAPTER 5 - When McCoy is penned down by debris after the explosion and Spock refuses to leave him, it is exactly the same “Go on together” dialogue from “All Our Yesterdays” when McCoy falls in the snow and Spock won’t leave him.
> 
>    
> Some of the dialogue was lifted verbatim. I did not intend to plagiarize, and I have given credit to the originals in this note. My intent was to show how the scenes and the dialogue could be reworked into a different story.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of Star Trek, its characters, and/or its story lines.


End file.
